This Time of Year

This is a very difficult thing for me to write, but hopefully will be helpful to me and someone else.

As a mom my job is to keep my children growing, learning, and thriving. But as a mom with seasonal depression its all I can manage to make sure they don’t starve some days. I want to crawl up in a hole and cry while pretending that the rest of the world doesn’t exist. I don’t want to meet with clients, check my emails, or answer the phone. I can hardly force myself to get out of bed to feed and snuggle my children.

This year has been especially hard as I have been on the edge of having post partum depression since Lincoln was born the end of March. So, I finally called the doctor to say I needed help. My depression seems to be getting worse, not better and I want to be able to be me. I want to be able to take care of my kids with a joyful heart. I want to help my company grow and thrive. Right now I can’t seem to force myself to do any of those things.

For those that know me this is a big deal. I don’t even take Tylenol for a migraine, I just deal with it. I don’t like meds and don’t want to take them. I go to pick up the prescription and ask how taking this will impact my nursing infant. This is apparently one of the “most safe” medications, and they are starting me on a small dosage, but here is the list of things to watch for in your baby.

I have an amazing baby, who is happy, healthy, and thriving. I now couldn’t force myself to take the meds that could help me be better for fear of it changing my amazing baby.

After doing some research I am going to go buy some fish oil and turmeric pills, diffuse some oils. Pray it will all help. Anyone have any other suggestions?